The sunlight keeps intricate time on
the iron facade of tinfoil cans,
chrome vessels that find themselves
crushed together, God's impending fist
of fire and ashen rock brandishing fingers
that topple the playthings into silver
legos and smashed pipes. Their wrists
bleed oil all over the refined manufacturers,
who ship our daily society in
streamlined trucks, silver bullets riding whistles
down the highway.
On glass bridges, conversations fit into
corresponding pre-planned places, where agents
smoke factories, puffing static philosophy from
their taut lips. Energy fizzes from these fissures
they form, and we tick accordingly. Mechanisms
execute verbs in the most precise amounts, but
we find them glossy and smooth, as an inked report that
all is well.
Nuclear monsters rest in solitude, gas
chambers silent, sterile. [screaming] spires
exclaim reverence to the gilded gods of Rome -
Rome, the reenacted statement we aspire for,
the phoenix fire we rose from, resulting in rubble
that towers a thousand feet heavenward,
thrusting us, injection, into hell.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
oooooo I loved this. It was ... wow. Awesome. Excellent imagery, and everything seemed to flow well, it was just great. I didn't like the last line though, threw me off somewhat. Perhaps a revision there should be executed.